The Shipping Real Real
We get it, you want your awesome new stuff freaky fast. Our goal is to deliver on your high and unrealistic beauty expectations. Please understand your order may take 6-16 days to arrive. GASP!
Remember we’re a small and might brand and we don’t have the 1.2MM employees that Amazon has so do your best not to compare us to a founder that has enough money to eat through osmosis and fly himself into outer space.
We try our best to process your order within 3 business days of receiving it (business days means we don’t make our team work on holidays so if you didn’t see your post man today you won’t see Miles The Jag stuffing boxes, he deserves a day off occasionally). Then most of you are cheap (like we are) and choose USPS shipping - we don’t blame you for your frugality. And no shade to uncle Sam but have you seen how slow those four-wheeled-white-go-cart looking things drive?
I paid for 2 Day Shipping And it’s Been 47&1/4 Hours, Where’s My Sh!T?!
This one was not discussed in high school economics but it damn well should’ve been. 2-day shipping doesn’t mean your cool hat makes its way from you pushing a button to our warehouse to your head in two days. It’s simply the over-promise that USPS makes to you from the time they receive your item from us to the time they really hope it will get to you. Refer to paragraph three sentence one above where we said we process orders within 3 business days. I know this is now basically entering algebraic equation territory but 3 + 2 - XBusiness days + USPS = more than 2 days.
My Tracking Says Nothing Or Claims My Hat Is In Peurto Rico
I know we just met but this is where we’re going to ask you to complete a trust fall. The USPS tracking system was built by some cut rate e-commerce company that must be defunct by now and they haven’t bothered updating it because in the words of Miles, iz reel bad! It may say they are still awaiting receipt of an item for days after they actually receive the item. It may say your item is in a foreign country that is way off route. Trust us, your stuff will arrive and it will make no sense and we have never received a good explanation for why this happens. Trust that we are working as quickly and safely as possible to make you look more awesome in your new gear.
If it has been more than 17.2 days and you still don’t have your item please email Miles at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Can you refund my shipping?
I bet you've heard the expression, you can't put toothpaste back in the tube. In short, nope. If we mucked up we will take responsibility for shipping costs. If third party carriers fumble the ball, shoppers with buyers remorse become remorsed or people who actually keep our awesome gear somehow decide they want a refund on shipping costs, we suggest asking their local mailman for a five spot and see if they have more luck there because its a sunk cost dude.